Jake's 6th Birthday Letter

Dear Jake,

A few weeks ago you turned 6.  Every so often you have to deal with a small outburst from me, where I hug you tight, ask you why you have to get so old so fast, and make you promise that you'll always love me. Your response usually goes something like this: "Mom, I have to get bigger, it's a good thing! I'm happy to be older, and I will always love you.  And you can hug me as tight as you want to, whenever you want to."

I know that doesn't sound like the kind of thing a 6 year old would say, but I promise you Jake, thats just how you talk.  You are extremely articulate, and speak right from your heart.

I'm really trying to soak up this time in your life. I've been able to visit you at school during your lunch and recess just a handful of times this year.  Each time that I do, you are so happy and proud to have me there.  As you wait in the line to go from the cafeteria to the playground, you insist on holding my hand.

Speaking of lunchtime: The other day when we were standing in the after-lunch line, you saw a friend of yours who was breaking some rules.  I didn't say a word, assuming that a teacher would intervene and not really wanting to mix in.  But Jake, you kindly told your friend that what he was doing wasn't a very good idea.  He ignored you the first time, and you patiently said it again.  You didn't say it in a bossy way.  You were simply standing up for making the right choices.  It was a profound little moment for me.  You are a sensitive kid, and I worried a bit before school started that you might struggle in social settings because of it.  I worried that you might fall between the cracks and have a hard time making friends.  But I couldn't have been more wrong.  From what I've seen, what you've told me, and the things I've heard from your teacher and other parents, you are a kind friend to all those around you.  You happily participate in play time, always ready to use your imagination and go along with funny games invented by your classmates.  But you aren't afraid to go your own way when others are making bad choices, and you openly encourage others to do the same.  Having the strength of a leader with the humility of a supportive friend--those are very special gifts, and Jake so far you seem to have them both.

Not sure if it's a product of your age, or the amount of time you spend with other 5 year olds, but you've become so silly.  You love making jokes, and are starting to understand some of mine.  Sometimes I will make a sarcastic remark, and you'll start laughing.  It's really fun being able to have conversations with you, both the deeper level stuff and the kind that produce lots of rolling tears and  belly laughs.

You handled full day Kindergarten like a champ.  Every once in awhile you needed to sleep in or take a day off to rest, but for the most part you were ready to learn and play.  Your teacher Ms. Emch really loves you.  We've had a couple parent teacher conferences this year, and she's had nothing but positive feedback.  In addition to having great social behaviors, you were also an excellent student. Your strongest subject is math.  By midyear, your teacher was giving you enrichment homework during math lessons.  This means you were doing worksheets from the 1st and 2nd grade levels instead of kindergarten. Your favorite subject is art, but you also love doing science experiments and going to the computer lab.  You've become a great little reader too!  You love reading your beginner books to Mia, and your reading comprehension is top notch.  We've started reading Harry Potter together this year.  It makes me so happy to see your love for books growing--your dad and I both love to read, and hope you'll make it a big part of your life!  

One thing is clear: you have a great thirst for knowledge. You ask us lots of questions, carefully listening to the response. You want to know all about life, and I try hard to be as honest and direct as possible with my answers.

Science Project! Mini volcanoes :)

In addition to starting Kindergarten, our family grew this year.  You got a baby brother!!! Watching you grow into that role has been so rewarding for me.  Because of the 5 year age gap, you just "get it" about him being a baby.  You let him crawl all over you, tug on your hair, you never fight over toys with him.  It's just a very different dynamic. You drop anything and everything if I ask you to go check on him, and take the job of big brother very seriously.  When Mia gets mad at Caleb for crying, or taking her toys, you gently remind her that he's just a baby and doesn't know any better.  You still have your limits though.  One time I was trying to unload groceries and I asked you to entertain him for 5 minutes so I could get stuff into the fridge.  Caleb was screaming his head off laying on the floor, wanting mommy to pick him up.  I came back in the room and saw you laying next to him, playing a game on your nintendo 2DS. I looked at you questioningly, and you calmly said "Mom, I love Caleb, but I don't know how to deal with a tantrum. I'm only 5".  I about died laughing.  Sometimes I need a little reminder.  You are such a mature kid, I realize we often expect way too much of you for your age.

When you aren't at school, one of your new favorite hobbies is building things out of Legos.  Your Grandpa LOVES legos, and is really the one who got you hooked.  He taught you how to read the step by step manuals, how to search for pieces, and the importance of keeping all the sets organized into zip lock bags. You love clearing the table, and pulling out one of your (many) sets. I'm so impressed by your level of focus.  You often sit for 4 hours at a time, calmly building.  You also love to ride your bike and scooter, play on your nintendo, and your favorite Xbox game is Skylanders. (I don't really understand any video game references, so you are lucky that your dad does).

  Although you've made lots of new friends this year at school, your best friend is hands down your sister Mia.  Sometimes you two fight like crazy, most of the time you are up to all kinds of mischief.  Personality wise, you are all boy and she is all girl.  Your bedroom is a 50/50 split between Lightning McQueen and Disney Princesses. But somehow you're able to meet in the middle.  Your favorite things to do together are art projects, building things out of legos or jenga blocks, and playing dress up.  Mia's favorite things to be are "Elsa" or the "queen of the fairies".  You are always a race car driver or ironman.  The activities change daily, but the results remain the same: A lot of love, a lot of noise, and a raging mess at the end of the day.  It makes my heart happy when I peek in on you two, tears streaming from your eyes in laughter over something. Sometimes that something is "who can make the most disgusting fart noises with your mouth and arm".  But isn't that what being a kid is all about?

Playing School at Omi's house.  (You LOVE going over there)

A couple weeks ago we spent a few hours at the pool with another family.  You were the oldest kid there, and when it was time to get going home, I asked you to start cleaning up the sand toys. Your dad and I were busy socializing and putting food back into coolers.  I vaguely noticed you not only gathering toys, but rounding up your playmates to help.  You showed them how to rinse the sand off and dump out all the water before placing toys in the pool bag.  When you were all done I came over to quietly praise you for listening and also being thorough.  You looked up at me and said "Well, I didn't do it all by myself, these guys helped too."  I told your dad about that, and he watched you quietly for a few minutes.  He looked at me and said "Jake is a good guy.  Not just a good kid, he's a good guy." I responded saying "Yeah, he really does seem to know whats up.  I think he will do great things in his life if we don't micromanage him." then daddy said "So basically, we just need to get out of his way".

You were a little sensitive as a toddler, and being our first baby I think we swooped in too quickly sometimes.  We didn't let you fall down on the playground, and didn't encourage you to take risks and try your strengths. We are working hard to loosen up.  You are a coordinated, cautious, and logical boy, and I'm really trying to "let go" and give you space to use your judgement. 

I just want you to grow up with an understanding of the things that are most important.  About the love your Heavenly Father has for you, about hope, about making good choices and why it matters.  But the truth is, you've taught me all those things yourself Jake.  Being your mother has molded and shaped me into the person I am today.  Not saying I'm perfect (far from it).  But I've become less afraid to be myself. I'm more willing and ready to embrace change. Each and every milestone that you hit does something to my momma heart.  It aches, but in a good way.  It swells with pride when I see the young man that you are becoming. I'm excited to see what the next year will bring. I love you Jake, happy sixth birthday. 

 (Doing a math problem in this one)