Mia's 4th Birthday Letter

Dear Mia,

A few days after you turned four, we were out grocery shopping as a family. You suddenly started crying. We asked you what was wrong, and between your sobs and sniffs and crocodile tears, you explained that you didn't want to keep getting older. It turns out you were suffering from a little bit of "Peter Pan Syndrome." We tried not to laugh as we explained all the cool things about growing up, but you insisted that it wouldn't be any fun being a grown up like mom and dad because it would mean you couldn't spend every day playing "mommies and babies" with your brother Jake, and also snuggling with mom in the mornings.  I tried to explain that you would be able to play mommies and babies with your own real life baby someday. (That revelation just made things worse.) You begged and pleaded for me to search for a way to help you become 3 again. I tried to reassure you that you would be little for a long long time still, but you told us it wasn't true. That you were getting older every single day.

Rip my heart out kid, as if I wasn't painfully aware of the fact that you are getting bigger every single day.

Another spectacular year has gone by for you Miss Mia. Your size didn't change much.. a few inches taller, only about a pound heavier.  But your spirit grew by miles.  You remain the Queen of the house. Everyone who meets you gets a kick out of your feisty, articulate, passionate personality. We have countless new "Mia stories." Like the time we visited Omi and Opi's ward and you stood up boldly in from of their Primary, and introduced yourself as "Mia Tinkerbell".  You have absolute courage and don't seem to get embarrassed by anything.  This past Fall you participated in your very first church Primary Program.  Midway through the program, you had a a little accident.. and you shouted from your seat in the pulpit to mommy that you had "dirty undies!!" When I didn't immediately respond you shouted it again. I ended up needing to run you home for a fresh change. (Luckily the building was close to our house.) I was somewhat mortified at the scene. But you weren't remotely phased. You certainly provide us all with nonstop entertainment, and its a guarantee that no one ever forgets who you are!!

The biggest love in your life right now is Frozen. You spent the better part of the last 6 months wearing your Elsa costume, and singing to anyone who would listen. We all love watching you sing "Let It Go", complete with hand motions. For your birthday party this year, we threw you a big Frozen party.  Your Omi and I went all out turning her house into a winter wonderland, and we invited Elsa herself to come and surprise you. I've never seen you so happy and star struck. When Elsa had to go back to Arendelle, and all your friends went home, you were devastated. It was all way too magical for your 4 year old heart! We often joke that you are a very cute little sponge of pure emotion. Whatever you feel, whether its happy or sad, silly, excited, upset, anything --- you feel it 1000%. When you are tired, we have to constantly remind you to stop being "floppy".  We worry that you'll hurt yourself bumping into something as you walk around like a little drunken sailor (very much like Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow),

You are starting to have an actual relationship with your baby brother Caleb.  It's exciting to see that connection growing, and I'm sure it won't be long before you two are as close as you and Jake.  But its not all fun and games.  The other day you shoved Caleb with two hands, because you didn't want him messing with your toys. I scolded you and said you needed to apologize and look him in the eyes so he would know you were really sorry. You got upset and refused. When I asked why you said "I will say sorry, but I don't want to look in his eyes." Even when you are being stubborn, you have a gift for explaining exactly whats bothering you. (And eventually, you did come around and say sorry, and then admitted that it did make your heart feel better).  :) 

Your relationship with Jake is so special. As I mentioned in the beginning of your birthday letter, you very passionately told us that you didn't want to grow up, because then you wouldn't be able to play "mommies and babies" with Jake anymore. He's a great sport about playing along with the imaginative games you come up with. And you love playing cars with him, building legos together, and most of all coloring, cutting, gluing, pasting--CREATING. I can't believe how fast we fly through the art supplies. It makes me happy though!

You recently started taking a dance class. It's a combo of ballet, tap and jazz. We are so impressed with how quickly you seem to pick up choreography. You have a knack for remembering the names of the different ballet techniques, and even though you are the tiniest in your class you were the first to memorize all the ballet positions. We are so proud of you and your ability to focus and learn. You've always had your head in the clouds a bit. Plus you always demand to understand the reasoning behind my every request. ("because mom said so" doesn't fly with you).  Because of these two things, I've been a little worried that you'll struggle with falling in line when its time to start school.  But dance class is showing me that you are not only incredibly smart, but that you seem to truly enjoy making progress and being part of a group. I can't wait to see you blossom further!

As you've grown up a bit, Dad and I have realized the importance of building individual relationships with each of you kids. We try to make a point of taking you out on your own for "daddy daughter dates" and "girls nights". You really soak up the one on one time, and so do we! You especially love going out to eat somewhere fancy, and shopping for "sparkly" clothes for yourself, and having me braid your hair. (girly girl to the core). Conversations with you are always so funny. Now that you and Jake have your own separate bedrooms, you get your own bedtime routine. Your favorite song for me to sing to you before you sleep is "I Feel My Savior's Love". You have the whole thing memorized.  The other night, I wasn't home and daddy had to put you to bed. He didn't know all the words, and later told me how touched he was, having you teach him the song, line by line in your tiny voice. Your spirit is strong.  You radiate so much joy and excitement and love in everything you do--It's infectious.

It's been a few weeks since that grocery store meltdown over your worries about aging.  You seem to be adjusting to this 4 years old thing after all. I guess I should be happy that you wanted to stay 3 forever.  It shows how much you enjoy living in the moment.  I could learn a few lessons from you about enjoying the journey, and loving the phase of life that I'm in. You have unique gifts of self expression. 

Sometimes it doesn't seem possible to fit so many feelings into such a small person. But then again, it doesn't seem possible to fit all the love I have for you in my heart.  It's overflowing with wonder and amazement at the little lady you've become. In part, I'd have to agree with you--I don't really want you to grow up either. I know that years from now I'll remember the way you look now each morning, curly hair all matted up and big, so skinny in your little jammies, ready to fill your day with as much silliness as possible. My heart will ache for this time. It will fly by way too fast.  But it really is good for you to grow sweet Mia. The world needs people like you. You're a natural born leader, a great communicator, and you have such a big big heart. Ive said it before, I'll say it again: You're gonna do great things kiddo. I'm so excited that I get to watch it all.  Love you Mia Girl!  Happy Birthday to the most vibrant, sassy, joyful 4 year old Beauty I know.   

Caleb's First Birthday Letter

My sweet little Caleb:
A month ago you turned ONE.  Looking back on the past year with you, I didn't write as much in my blog as I did with the other 2 kids. It was a crazy busy year--daddy finished up with his graduate school program, and right around your birthday we bought our very first house, packed up, and moved from Scottsdale to Gilbert.  You won't remember that apartment in Scottsdale even a few months from now, but there will always be a special place in my heart for that home.  It was there that we brought you from the hospital last summer. It was there that I spent those first 12 months with you.  And sweet sweet Caleb--I will forever love and cherish those days.
I thoroughly enjoyed you as a baby.  Not sure if it was because you were so incredibly happy and relaxed, or if it was because I'm finally getting the hang of infant care. Probably a combination of the two.  Daddy can back me up on this one though, in my eyes, you were practically perfect.  A good napper, quick to smile, happy to be held, and so cuddly. I couldn't have asked for more in my 3rd little baby.

Around 10 months old, you flipped a switch as we started phasing into toddler mode. Now you are practically running circles around my legs! We lovingly call you our little ankle biter--you want to be moving, but you really really love me, so you don't usually stray very far.  About every 30 seconds you are back again, tugging on my knees wanting to be picked up. One of your favorite games is to lunge back and forth between mom and dad, smiling to yourself every time we pass you back. (That game will go on forever if we let it).

Pretty much the only times you aren't dancing around my feet, it's because you are being sneaky. Your favorite sneaky things to do are unroll the toilet paper (and eat it), and pull out the tupperware.  The other day you found my deodorant stick, took the cap off and ate some.. that was gross.
In addition to eating toilet paper and deodorant, your favorite foods right now are meats (all varieties, just like your sister Mia.), scrambled eggs, greek yogurt, pringles chips, and most importantly..Watermelon. Oh, and chocolate (also all varieties).  Sometimes I let you have semi sweet chocolate chips for dessert.  You love picking them up with your tiny little fingers, one by one. :)
If I give you a food you don't like, you'll pick up each piece, and (while staring at me) throw them on the floor.

You are starting to talk and babble all the time! Your number 1 word is "uh oh".  You said other words before, but this one is heard most often.  You went through a phase where you shouted at the top of your lungs when there was something you wanted. Small, loud, isolated shouts. Not the cutest part of your vocal development--luckily, you don't do it as often anymore ;)
Your big brother and sister really love making you laugh.  It makes my heart happy seeing the three of you play together.  It's happening more and more all the time!  Jake takes his job as big brother very seriously. He looks out for your safety, and loves carrying you around, and showing you how to play with cars.  He already has you making the "vrooom" sound! Now that Jake is back in school after the long summer break, Mia is especially grateful to have you at home with her. If we can just get you to stop pulling her hair, we will be good to go ;)

As I said before, daddy had an insane year with work and school. He didn't get to see you as much as he wanted to, but you were always so excited to sit with him when he was home. Even on his most draining days, I noticed how being around you would lift his spirits.

I'm so grateful you came into our family.  You bring something very special to the equation.  We all truly adore you. Not just us either--all of your grandparents, and the rest of our friends and family too.  We all get swept up by your big blue eyes, your chubby cheeks, and your spunky and sweet attitude. Your personality is hard to define. You have lots of energy, but can sit and cuddle too.  You are very attached to me, but are also happy to be held by everyone who loves you. You fall a lot trying to keep up with your brother and sister, but rarely cry over it. You are tough but tender. Oh Caleb, somehow you are everything!

This is the point in your birthday letter where I should be saying "I can't wait to see what this next year will bring for you!" Maybe in some ways it's true....No, actually, it's not.  I feel like you are growing up against my will.  There is a tiny, logical part of my brain that knows a lot of things will be easier when you get a bit older. I won't have to worry about you choking on legos, and I'll be relieved when diapers become of thing of the past.  But the much larger, emotional part of me just isn't ready.  I'm so in love with Baby You. With each passing year, my heart is taking on more love for this growing family of mine.  But with every change, it breaks a little too.  That doesn't make any sense.  But it's the truth.  Before I know it, your baby fat will melt away.  In the meantime, I'm going to be kissing your cheeks every single chance I get. I hope thats ok with you!

Happiest of First Birthdays to you, my Caleb.  

You really are one of a kind, and I love you.